Travel: Making You a Better Traveler Part One - Pre-Flight

Traveling is something that everyone should try to do at some point.  My life has been enriched and my world broadened by the few, yet noteworthy, countries I have visited, the diverse people I have met and the supercool pictures I have taken.

Having said that...

Today, and over the next few entries, I will take it upon myself to bust the illusion of glamour out of world travel and possibly give a few hints on how to make it not suck quite so much.

I travel for work, a lot, so I am getting better at it; better at handling the system, not the experience.  Despite what the airline and tourism propaganda would like us to believe, travel is no longer the glorious, awe-inspiring episode in our lives that we should feel lucky to encounter.  Because of increased security, low-ball flight prices and airline market grappling, passengers are herded into cues, rushed through intrusive security checks, touched, and then crowded onto an aircraft that has as many seats as the airlines can possibly fit into a small space.

Following are a few of my personal recommendations that will help you feel a little more in control of your glorious flying experience; all found through trial, error and survival instinct.

Flight Planning.

Book your flight online.  By doing so, you will have electronic access to your flight information including the airline’s small print, luggage rules, schedule, aircraft type and seating.

Select your seat.  If you don’t choose your own seat, you will be seated in a middle seat that doesn’t recline and is dangerously close to the toilets, I promise you.  Depending on the airline and/or flight, you can choose a seat when booking but sometimes they charge for that privilege.  Check your online information a month and a week before your flight to see if the “seat selection” option has become available.  At the latest, you can check in online 24 − 36 hours in advance and select your seat then.

Even if you have been brilliantly proactive and have selected your seat ages in advance, check back as the airline may have changed aircraft and your emergency row exit aisle seat will then have become cattle class middle seat.  It happens.

If you would like to know which seats are the best ones on your flight, check out an aircraft seating sight such as SeatGuru.  SeatGuru has layout diagrams of most airlines’ aircraft with explanations as to why certain seats are better or not so good.   When selecting my seat, my first choice is an emergency row exit seat for a few good reasons:  extra legroom, no kids allowed and I figure that someone slightly competent should be sitting there in case there actually is an emergency.

Check in online!   Select your seat, check in online and print your boarding pass at home.  If you do not, the airline can still change your seat because someone is at their counter, in their face, whining for your seat.  Secure it!  Also, some airports have a much shorter cue if you have already printed your boarding pass and only need to check your baggage.

Speaking of baggage.  Most airlines allow one check in piece with a weight limit and one carry-on piece plus a purse or small camera bag.  Pack your suitcase as though it will be thrown into a demolition derby arena in a rain storm. That would be a mere warm-up compared to what airline baggage handlers are capable of.  A small yet worthy investment:  a wrap around suitcase strap that you can purchase for under 10 euros at any luggage shop.  When your guaranteed-for-life suitcase zipper breaks on its first voyage, you will be glad that at least some of your unmentionables are still on board.

Pack your carry-on bag so that you can locate, remove and replace everything contained therein faster than a sniper can assemble his rifle in the bushes.  Start packing your bags empty so that you have no reminders of your last outing brought to your attention by airport security.  That can be an embarrassing and expensive oversight.  No liquids greater than 50 ml, no lighters, no multi-tools, no knives, no nail clippers, no scissors, no you can NOT take the bottle of water that you just purchased..... not an exhaustive list by any stretch.  You will have to take out your laptop, liquids and possibly your camera for inspection so do not bury them at the bottom of your bag.  No one in the security line up wants to see your colourful boxer-briefs and condom collection that you must remove to get at your computer.... yay, Amsterdam.

While we are on the topic of airport security....

Simple rule:  Don’t Wear Metal.  If you do, you will have to take it off.

In most airports, you will have to remove belts, shoes, jackets, all pocket contents, watches and costume jewellery.  If you have a metal plate somewhere in your body, carry a medical card stating that you have one, unless you haven’t had any action in a while and you enjoy the thorough search that you are sure to receive.  To each his own, I don’t judge.

Dear Airport Security:  Bras have underwire.  Most women over the age of consent are wearing them.  This should no longer be a surprise but, thanks for the grope, it made me feel special.

Well, I’m exhausted.  The next instalment will be a must read about the flight and passenger etiquette; feel free to quote me.

Comments

[madonnart]

Heads up to those of us with a sizeable Titaium investment...the card thing is a hoax....so....enjoy the behind screen removal of pants, the not so loving massage of your lady bits and the customer service that will ensue.

[Kim]

Good to know.