What's Next?

Where the Road to Financial Freedom Begins

I have made the most amazing discovery!

Wait, my eyes are welling up.

The Public Library.

Right here.  In the Village of Fruitvale.  And; I've heard that they're everywhere; not just in my little haven of the world.

Liam-the-12-year-old-boy (until tomorrow when he turns into an evil teenager), has been assigned fifteen minutes of reading each and every night.  Last year it was ten minutes.  Not a big jump, per se, except that this year's teacher has recommended that he branch out to books beyond his regular reading set.  That's right, no more Archie Comics.

His English teacher last year was a great teacher and an even greater lover of sports.  Liam is really good at sports.  Liam was allowed to read Archie Comics.  His great throwing arm will buy him no favours this year.

He told me that for his first venture into the world of picture-free literature, he would like to read the Lemony Snicket books; a series of thirteen fantasy adventures.  I told him that I thought that was a fabulous choice and that I would order them from Chapters immediately.

Liam; "But, Mom, I can get them from the Library, for free."

Me; "The Library?  Free?  Tell me more about this Library of which you speak."

Liam, eye roll; "I asked you a year ago to come with me and sign for my card.  It's a block away."

Me; "Really?"

Liam; "Yeah, you drive by it every day.  It's right between our house and, like, the rest of the world."

I could live without the condescending attitude, little shit.  Never forget that I know where you sleep.

To the Library we went.

While we waited for our Library cards to be processed, we both looked around.  The book I am currently reading, Death of a Dissident, there, for free.  Magazines that I normally purchase for between $5 and a thousand dollars each (you know the ones, they take 42 minutes to read cover to cover), there, current, free.

This momentous discovery is sure to be the road to my financial freedom.  Oh, the money I will save.

Confessions of the Non-Fiction Reader, Part 1

Hello.  My name is Kim and I have not read any of the Harry Potter books.

Pause to allow for the cries and gasps to subside.

I am not the anti-Potter or anything that dramatic.  I have appropriately funded the empire of J. K. Rowling by purchasing, at full price, all of the books for the children, we have seen the movies and we own the videos DVDs.

Taryn-the-16-year-old-girl has just finished The Last Book.  I, quite mistakenly, thought that it was perfectly reasonable to ask her how it ended; who died, who converted to The Dark Side (oops, wrong literary empire), who fell in love.  The usual.

"Mom, I can't tell you that.  You haven't even read any of the books."

"But, I've bought them.  And, I've seen the movies."

"You're still like three books behind."

"I can just look it up on the internet you know.  I don't need you to tell me."

"I guess you'll have to do that then."

Tramp.  Give me my book back.  There must be a spot on the bookshelf somewhere between the unopened books of Grimm and Homer.