Report Card Time

Why is it that my children don't have the same sense of dread over receiving their Report Cards that I have?

I will tell you why.  Because I am not a good parent.  They have no fear.

My Parenting Report Card would read, "Prime Directive not met.  She has failed to accomplish the goals as set forth on the Parenting Agreement at all levels."

Last year, I paid money for good marks.  Worked well.  Liam made $140 on his final report card.

Before Liam-the-thirteen-year-old-boy brought his Report Card home from school, he asked me, "How much are you paying for A's and B's this year."

"Same as last year; I will give you $20 for each A and 10 for each B.....  But, I'm not giving you $20 for an A in gym; I will give you $10."

You see, an A in gym is not an accomplishment for Liam.  He shows up and all gym teachers fall to their knees, bow down and chant "We're not worthy."

Taryn-the-sixteen-year-old-girl will even admit that he is an Adonis when it comes to sports.  This from the girl who's kindest utterance to Liam as of late has been, "Wow, no zits this morning."

This is one of the first years that Liam has not had the gym teacher also teach a couple of his academic courses.  This combined with starting junior high school, has not gone well for Liam.  At this time, he is not passing two of his academic classes.  I can live with the realization that he has had a rough start this year and he now realizes that when the teachers ask for an assignment to be handed in, they really want to see it and they are not going to keep asking.  But, he doesn't.  Rather than come home and quiver while he begged for forgiveness for assuming that he can pass science with a cute smile and a good football throw, he told me that I owed him 30 bucks for the A's in gym and technology (he made a shovel).

No fear.  I have work to do.

Comments

[Erin]

As someone contemplating parenthood your post made me smile. As a long time good student I remember one time trying to convince my mother to pay me for grades. All I got was a good talking to about how learning was its own reward. But I have to say I got a good smile at the line "he made a shovel."

Your perspective has a wonderful sense of humor.

[Kim]

You know the old adage, "Laugh to keep from crying"? I directly equate sense of humor to sanity. Thanks for stopping by and, BTW, I love your blog, Erin.