What's Next?

Learning Makes Me Crazy

I'm in Vancouver taking a course that my livelihood depends on and will take me about 7 months and a bit of classroom time.  I'm a little stressed and I have tried to post about the sights and smells of Vancouver and the surrounding areas but every time I try, they seem to be quite rambly.  Not a word, I know.

This is me in high stress mode.  Not so much that I would actually study or anything but there is a very large text book sitting open next to me right now.  I'm sure that there is something to the whole "osmosis" thing.  If I am in the vicinity of information and brilliance, something in my brain should be just absorbing it.

So as not to go into full digression mode, I will stop typing.  Pictures to follow.

Report Card Time

Why is it that my children don't have the same sense of dread over receiving their Report Cards that I have?

I will tell you why.  Because I am not a good parent.  They have no fear.

My Parenting Report Card would read, "Prime Directive not met.  She has failed to accomplish the goals as set forth on the Parenting Agreement at all levels."

Last year, I paid money for good marks.  Worked well.  Liam made $140 on his final report card.

Before Liam-the-thirteen-year-old-boy brought his Report Card home from school, he asked me, "How much are you paying for A's and B's this year."

"Same as last year; I will give you $20 for each A and 10 for each B.....  But, I'm not giving you $20 for an A in gym; I will give you $10."

You see, an A in gym is not an accomplishment for Liam.  He shows up and all gym teachers fall to their knees, bow down and chant "We're not worthy."

Taryn-the-sixteen-year-old-girl will even admit that he is an Adonis when it comes to sports.  This from the girl who's kindest utterance to Liam as of late has been, "Wow, no zits this morning."

This is one of the first years that Liam has not had the gym teacher also teach a couple of his academic courses.  This combined with starting junior high school, has not gone well for Liam.  At this time, he is not passing two of his academic classes.  I can live with the realization that he has had a rough start this year and he now realizes that when the teachers ask for an assignment to be handed in, they really want to see it and they are not going to keep asking.  But, he doesn't.  Rather than come home and quiver while he begged for forgiveness for assuming that he can pass science with a cute smile and a good football throw, he told me that I owed him 30 bucks for the A's in gym and technology (he made a shovel).

No fear.  I have work to do.

Soooo Not Ready

Why She Can Never Live Alone, Part 2

The message on my cell phone, from Taryn-the-16-year-old-girl:

K, Mom, I know I keep calling but it's kind of an emergency.  I really, really, really need to talk to you.  You see, I was cleaning, I know, surprise, Ah!  Whatever.  And, you see, I burnt my face on a light bulb and, uh, there's some swelling and red blotches and it really hurts.  I called Laurie and she told me to put something cold on it and I already know that, it's done, I've burned myself enough to know.  Anyway, I was just wondering if there was something around the house or that you could bring home from work that I could put on my face so, you know, my grad pictures on Friday aren't ruined and all your friends laugh at you because your daughter is hideous and she looks like something from a Stephen King novel or somebody who writes really ugly monster stories.  So, I would really appreciate it if you would call us back, well call me back, well Liam wants to talk to you, too.  That's why I said us.

Oh, hold on...... you're calling back now, gotta go...... bye.

Sigh....

Remember

Yet Another Great Canadian Wine

I was reading Nadia's blog; a great site about creativity and grand ambitions.  She had taken a picture to show how she personalized her hotel room while away at a convention; something that I do as well, but never thought to photograph.  So I did, and here it is:

This picture has been cropped to protect the identities of the not-so-innocent.

The wine is a Hester Creek 2004 Cabernet/Merlot.  The combination of Cabernet Franc and Merlot grapes claims to taste of cherry blackberries, toffee, pepper.  My thoughts; very good, no pucker-bite, doesn't taste like smoke or wood and goes great with dark chocolate.  It was $18 where I purchased it but I noticed on the Hester Creek website that the MSRP is $16.

The chocolate is Green & Black's organic dark chocolate with 70% cocoa.  A friend who sampled it said that it was like eating oysters on steroids (hey....that may have been a pick-up line; I have to make a phone call).

The Garden City

Last weekend, I traveled to Victoria, BC; also known as The Garden City because the city seems to have a meteorological horseshoe hidden in an orifice somewhere.  Going there in November definitely made me feel as though I had left the country for some Mediterranean destination.

Unfortunately, I was there for work so my appreciation of the city was limited to the distance I had to walk to find a Starbuck's.  Speaking of which; look who I saw on the way.

Darth Vader was taking a break from his merciless pursuit of the Rebel Alliance to play his violin for our listening pleasure and a few coins.  The fact that he had chosen to moonlight in Canada is a definite indication of the strength of our dollar.  I was having difficulty accepting this information from the more traditional means (like the Bank of Canada) but,I am now convinced.

I have often balked at the idea of a TV show that matches wits between a grade 5 student and a seemingly intelligent adult.  I now bow my head in shame.

As I was enjoying my latte on my hotel balcony, I noticed this.  I took a picture, looked at the little screen on my camera and my second thought (first was ooooh, pretty colours) was that this looked suspiciously like a Parliament Building.  If this is indeed a Parliament Building, that would make Victoria a Capital City.

This could be considered a logical and, possibly, impressive deduction if I lived in, say, Zimbabwe but, I don't.  I live in British Columbia and I have now located yet another few lost brain cells.

Translation....

I love dinner time conversation.  I have yet to be disappointed.

Taryn-the-16-year-old-girl was passionately sharing her interpretation of Stalin's rule.

Todd-the-Ex is here for a conjugal visit; for the purpose of maintaining family bonds, not sex.

Liam was scrutinizing the vegetable component of the meal.

Me?  I was drinking wine.

Taryn, "Stalin was a brilliant man who led his country to great industrial success despite his methods."

Todd, "He was responsible for the deaths of millions of people.  You can't possibly think he was a genius."

Liam, "What's this."

Me, "Parsnip, eat it."

Taryn, "He effectively gained leadership by eliminating all other members of the Bolshevik party!"

Liam, "Taryn, watch your language."

Taryn, "I said, Bolshevik."

Liam, "Says you."

OK, Webstalkers

It's time to come forth and make your opinions count.

Vote here.

Love, your daughter,
Kim

Seriously Unexpected

There were two sizes bigger than this one but I am trying to be humble.

I am one of the Ten Finalists for the Best Canadian Blog in The 2007 Weblog Awards.  I have tears.  When I was originally notified that I was a contender, Laurie was quick to tell me that there were only a few days until the close of nominations and, at the time, there were very few blogs listed in the Canadian category so, I may have a hope-in-hell......thanks.....

As the deadline date was extended and more and more great Canadian blogs were nominated, I felt my dreams of fame shrinking, like the time my Dad told me that I had to go to University instead of auditioning for Cats.  Stand by, I need a moment.

Moving forward.

I am truly humbled by the opportunity to be grouped in with some great writing talent.  Please take a few minutes to peruse the blogs of these worthy finalists and be prepared for some amazing insights into Canadian culture, politics, life and pictures.

Wow!

• Verbalized
• Scott's DiaTribes
• Mitchieville
• Five Feet of Fury
• Angry in the Great White North - hits from his blog brought this to my attention
• Raymitheminx
• Small Dead Animals
• The Canadian Sentinel
• Apply Liberally

and me: 

• What's Next

Voting should begin within the next 12 hours or so.  Good luck to everyone.