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Remembering Happier Times Part 1

Frustration:  It seems that I must post this in little pieces because of the sucky Internet here so, it it's not making sense, pretend it's a puzzle or, easier, just assume that it doesn't make sense.

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As I sit here alone in my cell at the Gulag with my cup of instant coffee, I remember not so long ago, about this time on a Sunday morning, sitting in a different world enjoying a large cappuccino with the most amazing man...

Pause for a second and feel my reflective attitude, my huge sigh and, most of all, my pain.  Instant coffee, seriously.  Who invented this shit?

This entry was going to be titled Day 13 of my Incarceration and become a marvellous therapeutic rant about my current work location and all its perils including dodgy Internet, gastrointestinal infections, high fences, wine offerings from a carton and a lack of sex social interaction.  Fortunately, I have had adequate opportunities to rant thanks to Skype and the tolerant ones who still answer their phones so, on to more pleasant things.

The town that I currently live in, Wassenaar, is basically a residential feeder community to some of the larger cities like Den Haag and Amsterdam.  It is quiet and clean and exudes Dutch charm with its cobblestone, open-air markets, flower stands and bustling shoppers on bicycles.

Sundays are different.  Walking down our market street on a Sunday morning makes me feel as though I have woken up in a science fiction novel where the aliens have used that secret weapon that destroys all humans but leaves the infrastructure unscathed.  It is absolutely desolate and a little unnerving.

So, historically we have done the "items needed for survival" checklist on Saturday before 5:00 pm; wine, coffee, milk (for the coffee), toilet paper, dry cleaning and whatever else we cannot live without until Monday morning after 10:00 am and then we hunker down, sleep in, visit the local crepe establishment because we forgot to buy food (the offspring are in Canada for the summer), do laundry and think of things we could be doing if only there was life in our corner of the world.

Sunday, June 28, 2009, was different.  It was a beautiful day outside so I put the question out to the most amazing man; are we going to walk or ride our bikes to the crepe place.  He says, "Why don't we get in the car and go somewhere different?"

What, like the other crepe place?  I thought that place was too touristy for us; the cool local people.

No... further....

So, we drove to Leiden, a small city less than 15 kilometres from our place.  Well, Leiden is where all forms of life go to on Sundays!  We went for brunch and we stayed all day.

Remembering Happier Times Part 2

 

Morning:

 

Afternoon:

Remembering Happier Times Part 3

We didn't have to do any exploring because all of the entertainment came to us!  I thought maybe there was some special holiday that I was unaware of but apparently this is just what happens on a Sunday in Leiden when the weather is good.

Our entertainment for the day included:

Harmonious Couple Singing Irish Songs in Dutch

 

 

Drunk College Boys with Really Big Speakers

Remembering Happier Times Part 4

Sgt. Pepper Impersonators with Really Big Things Stuffed In Their Spandex

 

 

and, the honour of Best Entertainer for the afternoon goes to.....

Old Guy Trying to Retrieve His Dentures from the Canal

Truly a memorable day.

"I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight."

That line in The Devil Wears Prada did make me laugh, a lot, when I first saw the movie in 2006.  This past week, those famous words uttered by Emily Blunt have popped into my head quite a few times as I'm making small gagging noises each time my Russian hosts are serving a meal.  Something good has to come of this, right?

It's Saturday

Watch this.  I'm going to pretend like I have not been missing for (counting fingers) five months.

I would have had troubles justifying to my latest employer that I was unable to successfully prepare for whichever evaluation because I had to keep the world informed about, well, me.  The ending of that last sentence was going to say something deep about astute global observations and civilization-altering politics but we all know that there would be little accuracy in that.

In breaking news, I saw the new Star Trek Movie; on a DVD with Serbian sub-titles in my quasi-barrack prison-style room in Belgrade a couple of weeks ago.  Apparently, that may have been illegal by some copyright rules or something but, nonetheless I enjoyed it.  Star Trek; who would have thought.  When I later read something in entertainment news (the real news) praising Winona Ryder's return to the big screen, I had to immediately consult the all-knowing Google authorities to figure out what role she had played because I hadn't seen her.  Was my illegal Serbian copy a total fake shot in some Trekky computer geek's basement?  Did she play one of the cleverly disguised aliens that spent more time in the make-up chair than on the set?  No, she just got old!  She has very suddenly gone from the freaky girl who acted in the likes of Beetlejuice, Heathers and Edward Scissorhands to Spock's Mom!  I figure that this must have happened about the time that I woke up and found teenagers in my house that apparently belong to me.

In other news, Liam-the-fourteen-year-old boy left to visit family and friends in Canada for half of the summer.  I would like to thank Flight Aware, the online flight tracker, for saving some poor KLM employee from nine hours of harassing phone calls from a seemingly crazy parent asking if they were sure that KLM682 was still in the air.  Liam was unfortunate enough to have his first solo flight be a Trans-Atlantic so while I stressed just a little, he calmly prepared by watching past episodes of Lost to ensure that he knew how to survive on a deserted island.  That's my boy.  One day I would really like to get a good look at the pathways in that brain.

Next step, I have to re-learn how to change my banner picture.  It seems that not everyone is as fond of the Snowbabies as I am; you know who you are.

It's a Whole New World

A week ago, I found myself in a position that I had not been in since the late 80's.  Picture this if you will, I was sitting on an air mattress with my legs splayed on either side of my camera hard case, typing on my laptop while watching part of the ceremonies of the presidential inauguration week.  The last time I did that, I was typing a term paper on a typewriter and watching Bruce Springsteen on MTV rather than seeing an older version of The Boss sharing the stage with the president elect and one big-ass choir.  He still totally rocks even if he sounds a little more like Bob Dylan than the younger version of himself.  Move your lips, man; you look like you're in pain.

I can't help but think that, with all of the celebrity endorsements going on, it seemed more like the MTV Music Awards then a Presidential Inauguration.  I'm a little embarrassed for them.

My most recent move had found me in that literal position.  I have made the move to one of the satellite communities of Den Haag and my furniture has taken the long, scenic route via Singapore (of course, where else would it go).  I'm not sure how that even happens but I should expect to have a chair around the third or fourth week of February.

However, nowhere else could you get this for under 5 Euros:

And this is less than a block from my house:

I have done soooo many stupid things since I got here!  What I really need is someone to watch everything I do for a couple of months to make sure that I don't hurt myself.

If I had such a resource, I wouldn't have to do things like take photographs of all of the outlets in the house so that the electronics shop guy could show me where to plug in the phone.  I still don't have it working, no idea why since the troubleshooting guide is in Dutch.  Also, it would be super-cool if someone could tell me what all of the extra buttons are for on the washing machine.

Today's adventure will include renting a vehicle and driving to Ikea....

Winter Break

Well, once I have been ragged on by more than two people, it is time to start writing again (visualize me cracking my knuckles and looking really inspired).  Obviously you people have no understanding of the hell that defines my life right now.

I am currently sitting in an airport pub in Portland, Oregon watching my final flight home delay even more while sipping a glass of merlot.  The merlot is the pub's by-the-glass house wine and it is not totally offensive except for the dry, floating cork pieces in the glass.  I didn't even ask what it was if that is any indication of how my week has been.

I have just spent the past week in Orlando, Florida doing the Disney thing with my Mom, the two offspring and the boyfriend of the older offspring (now Ex-boyfriend, I guess... thank you, Facebook, for that update).  As much as I love to do the whole "family get-together" thing, we seriously need to go somewhere else from now on.  Unless, of course, the goal here is to drive me totally insane... hold on, I just felt a twitch.

You see, I hate crowds.  I strongly dislike people pushing me through line-ups to get on to mindless amusement park rides that I have paid hundreds of dollars to go on.  Wait, there must be more.  Let's not overlook the overt commercialism, poorly trained children (generally not mine), flight delays, rude "customer service" representatives (Sony and American Airlines; expect my letters) and crazy drivers (yes, okay when I do it because I am a trained professional).

Normally, I am able to tolerate all of this in the spirit of the holidays and family and Mickey Mouse and all of that shit but, this year the Gods of Insanity have thrown in an extra bowling pin; I accepted a job offer on another continent on December 9th to start on January 12th.  Do the math; seemingly impossible.

Of the four weeks that I had available to change my entire life, I spent two weeks of it working and a week of it at Disney World.  When I do eventually get home tonight (hopefully), I will have exactly two days to prepare for the movers, one day to clean the house and get a haircut before I leave the country in just enough time to suffer jet lag on the first day of my new life.  I challenge any of you to beat that planning.

I admit that I am, historically, a procrastinator.  I had no idea that this seemingly subtle part of my personality was, well, not so subtle until The Boy told me that I would have accomplished no more than I have, even if I had been given six months notice.  Don't you have an X Box game to play instead of analyzing my personality disorder, Ass?  This time would have been different!  I would have carefully planned my move around timely renovations and orderly life-changing-like manoeuvres.

But, I enjoyed myself; here's proof:

That big round thing on my waist is a button that the kids made me wear saying that it was my birthday.  The Disney staff are apparently mandated to wish one a Happy Birthday if you are wearing the official button.  I did the full body startle every time I heard some stranger emphatically wish me, personally, a Happy Birthday!

But, there is always good news..... I was just asked to produce ID for my glass of wine.  That just never gets old!

The laptop battery is showing an exclamation mark and I should likely stumble on down to my gate in case there is an airplane there, so.... more to follow.

Tunes

Hailing from Brisbane, Australia.... twins.

'Tis the Season

So.....how do you like the new banner?  I would be willing to bet that you never thought that Snowbabies could look like they are about to surround you and Zombie-attack you.  Photoshop is the best!  Snowbabies; made by my Mom.

Today I managed to put up the tree, put together a donation box of seasonal decorations that I can't believe I ever put out, reload a new Blackberry and organize camping gear (don't ask).  All this and more because I have a paper due.

And, I made this:

Kind of made it or put it together anyway.

On another note, it is my beautiful girl's eighteenth birthday today.  She is now able to vote although she is three months too late and she is able to legally consume alcohol in some provinces though not the one she has chosen to live in.  I am sure that she is, at this moment, sitting in the living room sipping tea and wishing that she was living in Alberta so she could be partying in the bar.

This one's for you, Baby!

Don't cringe too much, this ad paid a fair contribution to your RESP.